JCC Floor Hockey

 

Juranka's Corner

Dec 6, 2004

aron, roy and i
just checked everyone's stats
and saw the ebb and flow
of players' performance over time
& its fascinating

these stats unfortunately
don't include great defensive plays
and not even plus/minus

roy remarks that we need a statistician

it would be a much different league if
plus/minus was recorded

aron thinks alan and gabe would get
more respect

and
besides defensive contribution
we need a new quotient for
spiritual contribution to team spirit

we could use a psychologist
at each bench giving out marks
for positive attitude

the stats portion of the website
is such a privilege to have as a player

its so simple to scan your performance
its all on one page, so...
what would be the next step ?

i'm thinking analysis tools like graphs
which show slumps as dips and
inconsistency as zigzag tooth shape
as opposed to plateaus

its a tie game as i write this,
i'm at aron's with roy
watching the raptors-pistons game

we ate hannukah food
and sang hannukah songs earlier
with aron's son maxwell zebedee
and partner Cassandra

i'm chaNGING my style a bit with this newsletter because Ron thinks i hit the "enter" key every fourth word so i'm happy to say (Ron), that my writing style is going through a transformation.

aron thinks bettman is still in cahoots with the nba, getting canadians to watch basketball which happens to be really exciting right now. its a tie with the pistons, 39 seconds left to go. roy really thinks they could score and take it. now its 9 seconds, still tied. bosh just botched up toronto's only rush and then the pistons missed twice. its overtime.

wow, i just noticed that the lights go on around the backboard. we may want that in our league around our nets. each time you score josh hits a remote control button and the goalposts and crossbar light up.

doesn't look good. carter got injured, for a change, earlier in the game, now the raps are two points down, rafer alston is great but the pistons just scored again, they are now up four.

a two possession game but roy is still hopeful. cassandra notes that we are really into the raptors. i have to admit that roy just got me back into it. it actually feels a bit sacrilegious writing about basketball on this hockey website. it feels unpatriotic even. foul against pistons. still a four point game. bosh botched a 3-pointer. roy thinks it over. it is. i'm still pondering my sacrilege.

so the thing
that gets me out
every monday
it the love vibe

mixed with a
love of ball hockey
and a love of the
poetry of great moves
and the zen of
the score changing

nothing stays the same

each game has its own character

GAME ONE
the chopper-zep game

the showdown

had i jinxed my team
in the previous newsletter ?

were the lantz brothers
going to do what they had done
to Grey-gus last year ???

with this game
i realized the immense pressure
on orange each and every game

although they are in the cellar,
every team that plays them
is determined NOT to be
the first to lose to them

the week before they started
by opening up a 4-0 lead against
the honey bees

this week they started
with a two zip lead against the zeps
and were ahead for most of the game

both goals by davie... the prophesy
was starting to come true

the zeps had fallen into
that trance state where goals
become something that
other teams get

but the trance was broken
early in the second half
by aron

since all the other teams
rise to the occasion
against the choppers
they face a constant string
of challenge

and its just working up the
quality of their game

so altho' they may still be losing
they are just barely losing

and against everyone's "A" game

once they win one,
the pressure will be off
the other teams
and they will
bring their "B" game
and get chopped up

but that wasn't going to happen tonight
against the zeps

although the lantz brothers
were in on every chopper goal,
actually davie had a trick
and lorne had the other,
stevie tied it up 4 all
and aron put the zeps
in the lead for the first time,
late in the game

man was it intense

then, with a minute left,
vinnie gets called for a slash on lorne
who always draws penalties
late in an intense game

and then orange
does two major errors
simultaneously

with their goalie pulled,
and on a powerplay,
outnumbering us four to two,

they only put one guy
on mitch, our ball carrier,
who passes the ball to me
behind the net

error number two
is that they play a box formation

with no one right down the centre

so i one-timed it
from behind my own net
and although i fanned on it
and its a fluky silly-looking shot
it squirms its way between their
two defensemen and
they chase after it as it dribbles
into their net

but as silly as it looked,
it ends the chopper bid
for their first victory and
it may be the first goal
anyone has scored
from behind their own net

we need a statistician

GAME TWO

again the BIG TWO
face off and everyone
thinks that this will be a squeeker

both teams are missing a heavy-weight

ronnellys are without shane and
the bumble bees are missing mark

i start to worry that my last newsletter
has upset mark and he's boycotting the league

unfortunately, the bees without mark
are a bit like the rons without silver
and they started to unravel
really quickly

it was 5-2 rons by the half
at which point the rons went ballistic

especially ron himself who notched
the game winning goal and a HAT-TRICK

congrats ron

3 goals and four assists for marrus
2 goals and four assists for silver
2 goals and three assists for jamie

the ronnellys were definitely
getting to pad their stats
in this 11-3 blowout against
the gregus-less bees

puya was in on every bee sting
with 2 goals and an assist
on a very snappy shalinsky goal
that had the fans yelling
jabberwalky

GAME THREE
the EMINENCE vs. greener PASTURES

(i had to leave early
but i managed to persuade
paul russell to write and
send me the following
colour commentary,
thanks paul)

Green was short benched,
a team of four

Patty was hobbled and
Andrea and Jeff were AWOL

Grey had a strong six

While Green never held the lead,
their superb man on man coverage
and ability to capitalize
kept the game tied 3-3
as halftime approached

But two quick ones by grey
near the half
marked a change,

even with the score 5-4
at the beginning of round 2,
the short bench started to slow
as Grey went to frequent changes

Six unanswered goals
left the score at 11-4
as the buzzer sounded.

A balanced attack by grey
with Tanner, Chambers, Bedder, and Russell
all counting 4 points,
Silverman with 3 and
Abraham with 2.

Lessem had two pretty ones
to lead green

THE FIRKIN

(again, although i couldn't make it
to the pub this week,
sander was kind enough to act as
official power-ranking statistician
and sent me the outcome
from the pub with his blackberry
so i knew the firkin score in real-time
as it was happening
but
first the colour commentary by paul r...)

"Pub talk at the west end of the table
ranged from porn mags to porn movies, to Tim's coffee,
to venture capital and Letters of Credit.

Tough to keep up as the second glass emptied.

At least everyone understood the porn talk."

Porn and venture capital,
too bad i missed this one guys,
it could have been a career move...

the OFFICIAL SHALINSKY POWER-RANKINGS ARE...
Grey - 5
Green - 1
Yellow - 2
Black - 2
Orange - 0
Red - 3
Goalies - 1

Sander Shalinsky
From remote access

Alright, the EMINENCE WON
the power-ranking this week

see you all tomorrow night
t


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