JCC Floor Hockey

 

Juranka's Corner

IMPORTANT ONE-LINERS (Jan 14, 2003)

hey guyz and galz
yesterday was a strange day
three teams were tied for first going in
and the first two games ended in ties
but most importantly the great rivalry
between "The Good Ol Boys" and "The Pylons"
for Firkin Attendance also ended in a tie.

Firkin Attendance last week (on January 6th) went like this:
On the Boyz side Eric and Shane were no-shows
On the Pylons side Shiney was a no-show
and since we both had full teams that day,
the Pylons won by one.
Joel Lessem was the only Teamless Drinker
that night.

yesterday Carrie wimped out because she
has a job interview today and didn't want
to look like a bar-fly. Lame excuse I know but
if she lets her career get between her and
her commitment to Firkin Excellence there
is precious little that her loyal teammates can do.

That cost us a win in the great Firkin Team Rivalry.
Pylons minus Carrie and Shiney
Boyz minus Eric and Shane
but hey, a win and a tie still has the Pylons
one point ahead of the Boyz
for year 2003 with great hopes of winning the
first ever Firkin Team Cup (Pitcher?)

The individual power ranking will take some time
but Evan, Adam, Mark G, Joel L have all made their
appearances as Teamless Drinkers in 2003.
It takes great courage to walk the walk 50 metres
south without the support of thirsty teammates so
hats off and bottoms up to those Teamless Drinkers.

Just as an aside
Andrea, Mark, Evan and i
finished off the 2002 Firkin Year
on that Monday Pick-up game.
We actually closed the bar down.
They had to kick us out !

now here are the IMPORTANT one liners of Steve Wright
which i promised in the subject line of this email

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the guy who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen...and replaced by exact duplicates."

Here are some more of his gems:

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

If everything seems to be going well, you have overlooked something.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.


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