JCC Floor Hockey


Juranka's Corner

Nov 22, 2004

so the night began with a strange challenge
i was reading an excerpt from my last newsletter
to carolyn, something about orange-black combination
and that orange hadn't won and black hadn't lost
so she decided something had to be done

i mentioned we were going to be taking on black
without our speed freak stevie wonder
and she declared she was coming out to cheer

when she comes out i never lose

Rebels vs. the Choppers

with the reputation that Davey
is carrying around from the last few years
we all expected him to arrive back
scoring 4 or more goals each game
and turning his brother into another
top ten point-getter but his injury
is obviously still affecting his play

another pointless game for the superstar
but at least
he didn't rack up tons of penalty minutes

the rebels were firing on all cylinders again
Puya with 3, Mark with 2

Nolan was the truly bright spot
for the Choppers, scoring twice and
maintaining an offensive presence
all game long, congrats man

another bright spot was the presence
of Richard's girlfriend... sweet

at one point Orange was one goal down
five to four
and they blew a two on one

yellow capitalised and scored on the play
and that was a critical moment,
deflating the momentum which
the choppers had maintained all game


the dreaded RONnellys
(soon to be renamed NOAH-lleys)
the Red Zeppelins

as bad as the zeps can get
we have been the only ones
to so much as tie the
league leaders

and armed with Carolyn "Kryptonite"
the news spread quickly amongst
all three of us
that this may be a landmark challenge
to their uncontestable dominance

the first major psychological hurdle
was that Steve was scuba diving in Mexico

the next one was that Tim was an unlikely starter
based on his twisted knee from the last game

so it began with only three zeps present

which actually felt great
because you hit second wind
really quickly

they interviewed an Argonaut player
after last weeks Grey cup victory
and he mentioned that his game
gets better the more tired he gets
because he starts using his intuition
and stops thinking

Paul Lepage goes further and says
people play their best games
when they are slightly sick because
the illness also forces you to focus
single-mindedly on the fundamentals

we jumped into the lead early
and kept it for most of the game
but like the argos' lead
we couldn't get too smug

we couldn't really believe it
because we were playing the RONnellys after all

soon it became clear that
Silver wasn't going to show up

his impact comes from creating opportunities
with his imaginative plays and without that
the RONnellys were more like a bunch of
solo all-stars

jamie started scoring with shots
from any angle, usually high ones

we never felt like it was in the bag

the zeppelins really got into it
cheering too much
making a bit too much noise
banging sticks at every possible occasion
but hey
it was a bit intoxicating to be ahead
for a change
and against black
with carolyn inspiring us
at our bench

in fact she packed the bench
with players from yellow
who never hang with us
during the game
but they decided to join "team carolyn"

it was a little party,
standing room only
and not much of that,
because the mats
were behind the bench too

deep in their hockey hearts
they needed to feel what its like
behind a bench of a team that is
beating the ronnellys

this was Kitch's breakout game
with FIVE GOALS, congrats man,
it couldn't have come at a better time

unstoppable Shane had 4 goals
even though we shadowed him
like vultures

Jamie and Aron had hat-tricks
Mitch and Adam had 4 assists

Ron called Carolyn "Kryptonite"
because it always throws him off his game
when he's playing against her

and in the last minute
still three goals up
the improbable became the inevitable

a high scoring game, very intense

already getting goose-bumps
from the future rematch

hopefully with Silver Timmy and Steve playing

Eminence VS. Pastures

perhaps the two most veteran teams
with tons of defense to spare

this would be the game in which
Chris would finally break out

we've been watching the moves
but tonight he actually had FINISH
racking up 4 goals

2-2 at the half

playoff intensity

Patrick with 2 goals and an assist,
was in on all but one pasture goal

Tanner had remarked earlier
that Silver's stats had a better balance
of goals and assists
so setting up Chris three times
may have been brewing deep
in his unconscious

the chances were there
even in the final seconds
with the goalie pulled

a gorgeous pass to Evan
just bounced over his stick

so it ended 5-4 Eminence


i collected 3 napkins full of comments
especially from Larry

here goes...

the first topic which transpired
before Tanner showed up was

"how good would Tanner be
playing with a long stick ??"

after a field hockey training
and playing with a short stick
in our league, its hard to even imagine
how it would effect his style

some thought he just couldn't adjust

i think it may take a few games
but he'd transform his style of play
to match the long stick shot/moves

then i suggested that we rent
a rink in the summer and have
a round robin tournament
with our regular season ball hockey teams
playing shinny,
no pads and no raising the puck
(unless Jesse and Larry are fully equipped)

it would be neat to see who's talent
translates into ice hockey as well

then a weird comment from Carolyn
completely floored all of us

she only comes out once in a blue moon
so she can see the difference year-to-year
and she feels that
"quality is down this year, spirit is down,
more confusion, less concentration"

my impression was just the opposite
but the last games she saw were playoff games
so that may have had something to do
with there being more
focus, concentration and spirit

Paul doesn't like the name of his team
and would prefer something less macho

his first choice is the Yellow Honey Bees

sweet, coming from such a tough guy

Sander (i believe) came up with
Yellow Belly Sap Suckers

then we discussed new rules
and there was no shortage of suggestions

the Goalies (both turned up again)
want an anti-Marrus rule
which allows them to get the ball
back into play without having to worry
about being scored on in the process

the rule would be that an opposing player
has to get out of the crease and also
has to get out from behind the net
when a play is whistled down
can't go back there until the ball is back in play

since Adam is the only one
who hounds the goalie that way
i thought it may add to the variety
of plays in the league and
variety is almost always good
but the goalies are ADAMant about this one...

they want this rule and badly

Larry was also pissed off about the Zeps overcheering
when we go on a rampage banging our sticks
even when its something as simple as clearing the puck

even tho' we think its funny
to cheer the unworthiness of it
unfortunately it gives another message
to the players on other teams

it implies that we think we're the greatest
even when we suck

it is seen as super-pompous and therefore insular

its important to cheer but banging the sticks
should be reserved for goals, especially important ones

it hurts Larry's eardrums
and he thinks its really really
really annoying

my pet peeve is having players obstruct the ball
by having their feet stick out
while they sit on their bench

i feel it would be justified
to have (as in the NHL)
a bench penalty called for "obstruction"
or "too many men" if a stick or ball
touches someone's overhanging feet

Paul added a great new rule suggestion
regarding "Moving the puck"

there is already a delay of game call
that turns over the possession of the ball
when someone wastes time moving it out from
behind their net

Paul thinks it should be a penalty
especially if one team is leading
and uses that tactic to waste time

its one thing to run around the gym
trying to run down the clock
but its almost cowardly to do it
by hiding behind your net

of course this rule wouldn't apply
if you are killing a penalty
because the other team has an extra player
so that two can approach from both sides
without creating the defensive blunder

this "moving the puck" rule
would be in the spirit of
keeping the action going
especially in critical moments during the game

another rule suggestion had to do with
the "big ass" plays where players
push themselves into better position ass first

although Paul Russell had his stick up
at cross-checking height, it was argued
that Evan should have drawn a penalty
on the play as well
because he was the aggressor
bumping Paul ass first

Ron commented that
"vinnie has an ass
and knows how to use it"

i'm not sure what he meant by that

the goalies were asked who were
the worst offenders for goalie harassment

Aron and Patty move fast and have
given the goalies accidental body-checks recently
so their names came up

Jesse's list included Alan, Sander and Lorne Lantz

Larry felt that Sander has toned down and
that Adam along with two Zeps (Mitch and Vinnie)
were notable offenders

but there was one person who takes the cake
and both goalies pointed to him independently

and that was Joel Cornberg

wow man,
you have to leave them goalies alone

there are countless ways to score
but harassing the goalie
shouldn't be one of them

what an amazing night
with a great firkin turnout

honey bees - sander and paul
pastures - patty and jeff
NOAH-lleys - ron adam and jamie
eminence - mike paul and chris
zeps - MTV kitch aron and i (plus carolyn)
goalies - larry and jesse

goalies tied the zeps this time
because they are one sanjay short of 100%
while zeps were one steve short of 100%
(altho' carolyn should count too)

there were trade rumours abounding
that other teams, most notably those of
Jeff Wener, Paul Lepage and Ron
were all trying to trade for Carolyn

the official response from zep headquarters
is that, for the time being,
they are not even considering requests

see you all Monday

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