JCC Floor Hockey


Juranka's Corner

Oct 25, 2004

i'm still in shock
from the beauty and functionality
of this website

i'm overjoyed that we got
all those sticks - enough for
the next five years

and once i actually take a shower
steam/sauna and whirlpool
i'll be so overwhelmed that
i'll probably slip into a coma

at this rate, the JCC will be buying
us all hybrid cars within a few weeks
(red hybrid Honda for me Kim, thanx)

wow !
i mean "WOW!"

we have hockey cards
of all of us
on the website
and you'll find yours
by clicking on your name
wherever it appears
(on the stats, or the rosters etc..)

this site is way over-the-top

Mitch put a lot of work into it
as did the rest of the MTV line

you guys rock !!

totally inspiring

i feel like a professional floor hockey player
and it makes me want to play more, and better,
and faster

my newsletter will appear here
in Juranka's corner
soon to be renamed
"Juranka's Schtick" because
after all i am the stick-man

i could go on raving about
the website for weeks
and i probably will

and i could rave about
the new JCC facilities
but i'll wait until i actually
try them (and slip into coma)

right now is the time to
rave about sticks

our JCC stick inventory consists of:

10 new fibreglass sticks
unfortunately they came without knobs
and we'll fix that eventually

10 new black plastic plus
1 old one with a new blade plus
4 good old ones, thus 15 total black plastics

7 good old white plastic sticks
plus 6 with new blades
totalling 13 white plastic sticks

with this number of sticks around
we initiated the "don't reverse the curve" rule

EACH stick has an "L" or an "R" on it
and so pick your stick based on which
handed shot you are

if you don't like the curve you can modify it
but don't make a left-handed curve
out of an "R"-labeled right-handed stick

this way the curves won't weaken and break

if you do then it's pants down
and 50 wacks with the stick in question
and even the masochist amongst you
won't like it... that much

we'll wack you so hard that
the blade will take up the curves
of your glutteous maximus !

alright enough about your ass,
lets talk about the games...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Black Donnellys vs. Red Zeppellin

first of all the history that surrounds
the infamous Black Donnellys
is fascinating

they were mean and death
at the hands of vigilantes

check out their website
they've got ghosts and headless horses
running around their homestead
which you can tour

anyway this was the second encounter
between the zeps and the donnellys

3 weeks earlier donnellys had
beaten red 7 to 3

by the end of the first half
adam had scored 4 times
and the donnellys led 4 to 2

Sanjay had an assist on one of the
two Zeppelin goals and
the Larry drew an assist on the
first Zeppelin goal of the second half

Tight games get more and more intense
as the end approaches and a sloppy
change by Black which had most
of them on the court at the same time
got us the powerplay we needed
to tie it up.

Vince scored the first powerplay goal
in red zeppelin history and
the game ended with a 5-5 tie.

the Grey Eminence vs. Orange County Choppers

Orange is definitely the weakest team at the moment.
Losing Shiney and not having Davey in the line-up
means the their third highest scorer Lorne
is the main target of every teams defence.

With Davey back they'll be fine up front
but they need either a defenseman or
a defensive forward because they're giving
the game away in their end.
Whether they send Davey or Sander to the
Captains' meeting on Monday, Orange
is the team most likely to benefit from
player shifts for parity reasons.

The Eminence is on a roll and last monday
they easily brought down the coppers.
Four goals by Tanner and this blow-out ended
7 to 1

rebel Yellow vs. Greener Pastures

the rebels blasted away at Larry opening up
a massive 5 to nothing lead over the Pastures.

I had just returned from the Firkin
where everyone was talking about a lady
with ruby red gym pants who had
been working out on the bikes above
and behind Sanjay's net during Game two.
She made a humongous impression
on at least a dozen guys.
I had been working on putting replacement blades
on our sticks in the gym
so i missed the phenomenon
but the talk at the Firkin was unbelievable.
Never had i heard so much unanimous agreement
amongst JCC ball hockey players.

Going into the second half, down 5-0
the pastures got the priorities in order
and started playing some defense.

With only 3 minutes left to play,
Aron informed me that Jesse was well on his way
to a double (two period) shut-out.
He told me not to jinx him by blurring it out
but since i knew he'd succeed anyway,
regardless of sports superstitions,
I announced out loud
that Jesse was shut-out bound.

Sure enough within a minute Yellow
scored twice on him and
Sanjay's double shut-out from two years ago
stands as the only double shut-out
in recorded JCC ball hockey history.

Sorry about that Jesse.
Better luck next time !

The rebels won
which is not the surprise.
The surprise is that the Pastures
with their mature defensive players
could fall victim to a 7-1 blowout.

Oh well, it happens to everyone.

See you all tomorrow night.

Juranka's Corner Archive

The complete archive of anecdotes, game recaps, rants and ramblings.